It's that time of year again when we wade through the quagmire of end-of-year lists and come out smelling of Taylor Swift, Pusheen and Apple products. These indexes can be found on pretty much any publishing platform, ranging in browsing preference from the 32 dumbest things that happened to the five most inspiring buildings or the International Best-Dressed List. So whether you're more interested in the muppet who seemed confused that 'ebola' was not in fact the Spanish word for 'grandma', or you'd rather take a butcher's at H.M. Queen Máxima of the Netherlands in a tiara and long red tulle number, both areas (thankfully) are covered. As a self-proclaimed lover of most types of said lists, for me this periodic perusal is a greatly gratifying pastime, with my favourites from this year including the endless TIME Top 10 of Everything, The Fader Listmania, Dazed and Confused Most Visually Stimulating Films, and the Best of NTS.
If you're anything like me, then you'll make lists from these lists of lists. From the above and many more I have found countless new films/albums/books/words/Instagrammers to watch/listen to/read/look up/follow respectively, including:
1. The Congress, Ari Folman
2. Yellow Memories, Fatima
3. The Sleeper and the Spindle, Neil Gaiman/Chris Riddell
4. 'Health goth' (see the alphabet of 2014 here)
Although my 2014 might not have been quite as successful as 18 month old North West's (my hair may be long enough to put in a ponytail but will I EVER own an ostrich feather cape?), it has still been pretty eventful in a kind of unexpected kick-up-the-arse make-you-think-about-life oh-shit kind of way. I may not be Robert Pattinson's 'pretty little lady friend' either, but I have still learnt a fair amount. For me 2014 was a year of many things - from Boss Burgers, Belgrave Music Hall, Boyhood and the waterfall near Hebden Bridge, to getting a ring stuck on my finger and going to a&e and a First Class Degree in History of Art and Spanish. I spent much of spring and most of summer preparing for the step after that - not the traditional transition into work but the alternative route of the post-uni gap yah. Without a clue what I wanted do when I grew up, I would take some time, meet some people, ruminate a bit, and return with a better idea (I hoped). Alas, after ten blissful days in the bosom of Thailand, our particularly erratic minibus driver managed to collide spectacularly with a 4x4 at about 90mph, causing a punch-up with a temple wall and a bout of seriously broken bones all round (including two pelvic fractures, a spinal disc bulge and a lost tooth). A premature return to the UK and a slow but steady recovery while learning to walk again has been the cornerstone of my concern since then. Like they say, the only way really is up, and in the interest of continuity (and because I bloody love making them) here are some lists from my 2014 to start the new year:
Milestones I did not think I would be recording:
25 September 2014
Day 1 - Wiggle my toes
Day 12 - Fly home on a stretcher
Day 14 - Roll over by myself
Day 14 - Roll over by myself
Day 20 - Sleep for more than 4 hours
Day 29 - Go home
Day 29 - Go home
Day 43 - Get out of bed
Allowed to sit at 90°
Day 47 - Walk few steps with zimmer frame
Day 50 - Eat at a table (in wheelchair)
Use the loo
Sit on a chair
Day 51 - Go out in the car
Day 54 - Crutches
Day 62 - Go upstairs
Day 67 - Shower + wash hair
Day 80 - Sleep in my own bed
Day 87 - Stairs without crutches
Day 91 - Share a bed with my boyfriend
The best tv series & films I finally got around to watching while I was bedbound:
1. Twin Peaks
2. The Great Beauty
3. Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present
4. Orange Is The New Black
5. Bill Cunningham: New York
6. We Are The Best
7. Some Like It Hot
8. Annie Hall
8. Annie Hall
9. Dogtown and Z-Boys
12. Frances Ha
13. Reservoir Dogs
10. Cutie and the Boxer
11. Pretty in Pink
13. Reservoir Dogs
14. Dark Days
15. Clerks
15. Clerks
Things I have learnt:
1. Weeing (and the rest) while on your back is NOT a straightforward task.
2. It is surprisingly easy how quickly you can become unembarrassed by most things when you can't do everything yourself.
3. People are stupid.
4. People like to stare.
5. People are absolutely, unfathomably, magnificently amazing.
6. Pain levels come and go. They can become practically unbearable, but with time you can't exactly remember or imagine how it felt. It will happen again, but that will also fade. It passes.
7. If your brain doesn't want you to remember certain things, you won't. It is amazingly protective.
8. For all its foibles and alarmingly astute algorithms, Facebook is a godsend.
9. We do not appreciate enough the ability to stand up while hugging someone. The embrace is so much fuller and there is less worry about breaking anything fragile once the hug-ee is able to get up.
10. I did not realise quite how much I love standing under running water. As opposed to squeezing it from a flannel.
11. The constant amount of work your calves do just to keep you upright is more than you will (hopefully) ever have to know.
12. Losing weight while confined to bed does not leave you with nice skinny legs - losing muscle instead of fat does not a pretty bum make.
13. Having an adjustable bed is fun, but gets old very quickly.
14. Yes, hair does start to clean itself after a period of time.
15. No, it is not in any way clean enough to wear untied.
16. There is a sudden joy in the moment that you automatically take two stairs at a time without realising you could do it.
17. Vertigo is all fun and games until turning over in bed feels like someone is spinning you around by your ankles.
18. There is no reward whatsoever for time and energy wasted on anger, bitterness, and resentment. Get angry, accept it, and move on.
19. I couldn't give a monkey's about being overly soppy or emotional - too many things in life deserve verbal recognition and a few tears.
20. Positivity is just as important as the painkillers and the physio.
Happy New Year to all my amazing family, my friends, my boyfriend, my doctors, and the Netflix team.
